I genuinely like people — all people — and I’m a pretty happy guy. I just try to be myself. I’ve never forgotten who I am and I have a pretty good memory. I remember how hard it was for me in the past and what it’s like to have nothing. I’m the same guy — putting more zeros in my bank account doesn’t change my memories or who I am. It doesn’t make me any better or make me special.

I see so many people chasing riches because they think it will make them happy. You know what? They’re right. If riches can’t buy happiness, I don’t know what can.

The problem, though, is that it’s a very fleeting happiness.

Flying my family in our own personal jet to the vacation of our dreams would make me very happy for a time, but if I can’t be happy without that, something’s fundamentally wrong and no amount of money will change that.

So if you’re not already a nice person, a happy person, find out why that is because being rich won’t get you there. As Frank said: I’ve heard that money, like alcohol, reveals who people really are — strips away the veneer. Frank is happy now because he was happy then. Money didn’t change him from who we was.

Mo money, mo problems. If you have problems now, money will only make them worse. Don’t kid yourself into thinking otherwise.

This article, “Being Rich Makes You Happy,” is Lesson 8 in the Lessons from Frank Schilling series.

When he started his funding was limited to his relatively modest life savings and a string of credit cards that he quickly maxed out. Schilling literally bet the farm on his dream.

He and Michele sold their house and the remaining homes Frank had built and emptied their retirement accounts to build a $200,000 war chest. They also decided to move to Grand Cayman Island where they felt the absence of income and property taxes would help their money go further.

Now that was obviously a calculated risk on his part (I definitely advocate strongly against selling everything you own, maxing out your credit cards, and moving to the Caymans without a plan ), but there are at least a couple of good reasons why just about every success story you read has a chapter or two about the risks it took to get there.

First of all, you very rarely get something for nothing. If you’re truly passionate about your dream, you’ll be willing to take some well-thought-out risks to get there.

Second, and probably most importantly, most people perform at a higher level when they have skin in the game — I know I certainly do. I’m simply much more engaged when I have something on the line. It’s like Andrea wrote last month: it’s good to feel scared, it means you have something to lose.

Is there something you’ve held off doing because you were scared to do it? Get you some good counsel before taking the leap, but if you’re reasonably sure that it’s responsible, jump. There will never be a better time than now.

This article, “You Have to Take Risks,” is Lesson 7 in the Lessons from Frank Schilling series.

I think the biggest thing we lack is the desire to put in the work that Frank did, and Ron Jackson points that out early on in his article: “How … could he start in 2002 and still build such an empire when everyone ‘knew’ all of the good names had already been taken by those who pioneered the space in the 1990s? The answer is what I have often said is the domain industry’s ‘dirty little secret’ — hard work.”

And it’s not just the domain industry’s secret. If you want to make it on your own, you have to be willing to work for it. Frank spent “every waking hour in front of his computer scouring expiring domain lists.”

He burnt the candle at both ends and in the middle, often working 20 hour days while swilling coffee to stay awake. Before long he had a pretty good impersonation of Howard Hughes going on. “My hair got long and I turned skinny and snow white,” Schilling recalled. People who hadn’t seen him for months mistook him for a tourist on the rare occasions he ventured out.

What did that buy him?

Schilling’s single minded pursuit paid off. Within a couple of years he had bagged over a quarter of a million domains and revenues for his company, Name Administration, cracked the 8 figure mark annually.

Don’t expect success if you’re not willing to work for it. No one’s going to hand you anything. If you’re not willing to put in the work, forget it. Not only will you almost certainly not succeed, you’ll end up chasing get-rich-quick methods that will leave you unsuccessful and broke.

Remember what Thomas Jefferson said: I find the harder I work, the luckier I am.

Update (12/19): Great commentary on this by Shoemoney today by way of his Nigerian cab driver: Americans are Fat and Lazy

This article, “You Have to Work for It,” is Lesson 6 in the Lessons from Frank Schilling series.

Ron mentions in the very first paragraph that Frank “is universally regarded as one of the nicest people in this (or any other) business,” and he mentions later how Frank called him out of the blue “just to introduce himself and let me know he liked the publication.” Then later in the article, two of Rick Schwartz’s three points deal with how nice Frank is.

And in Frank’s own words: “I genuinely like people — all people — and I’m a pretty happy guy.”

Is this all an act? A devious plan to take over the world? I don’t think so.

Right about the same time the article came out, Elliot noted what happens when people take the other route, and his observation is true not just in domaining, but in any business:

I haven’t been in this business for a long time, but I have seen my fair share of things that leave me shaking my head. Some people will do whatever it takes to advance, risking their own financial status and their reputation. Perhaps making an error in judgment once will be forgiven, but if it’s done more than once, others tend to believe it was more than just a simple error.

It’s pretty obvious what type of person we’d prefer to do business with, but we rarely think about what the other person is thinking. They’d rather do business with someone nice, too. Thus, the nicer we are, the more opportunities will come our way. It’s no substitute for competence, but all other things being equal success is weighted more to those with a good name.

Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold.

This article, “Be Nice,” is Lesson 5 in the Lessons from Frank Schilling series.

In September 2004 category 4 Hurricane Ivan slammed into the Cayman Islands. Schilling had gotten his family on the last evacuation flight off Grand Cayman before the storm hit. Though they were safe their home was destroyed along with everything in it. Their cars were also wrecked but the biggest loss was their computers and critical domain data they needed for the audit Marchex required to complete the purchase. It would take months to rebuild the information and as that process dragged on the deal dissolved as Marchex focused on concluding the Yun Ye purchase.

This would have crushed me. You’re this close to a check for over $100M dollars and then — bam — you’re not. I guess still having eight figures in revenue annually would be a pretty good remedy for feeling too awful bad about it, but still.

Look how it turned out, though.

[T]he missed opportunity proved to be a blessing in disguise as Schilling’s portfolio has soared even higher in value and if sold today would command considerably more than the 2004 offer. “I have been approached about selling my business five times over the past four years,” Schilling told us. “Each offer was extensive and written, three of them were accompanied by deposits and all were nine-figure deals of ever increasing magnitude. I seriously worked with each suitor. Things just never worked out for one reason or another and I take that as a sign of sorts. I suspect I will sell my business one day but I am reasonably certain I will never leave the name business entirely, nor would I want to. This is too good a space.”

So not only did he land on his feet (have you read about the new house he built to replace the one that was destroyed?), the business he almost sold for $100M three years ago has probably now increased at least another $100M and business is so good that he’s not really looking to sell at all now. Not a bad result from what, by all appearances, was a complete disaster.

This article, “Not Every Disaster is a Disaster,” is Lesson 4 in the Lessons from Frank Schilling series.

His timing couldn’t have been better. The .com bubble had burst in 2000 and prices for good domains had become affordable again. Disillusioned owners were even letting high quality domains drop rather than pay renewal fees.

Timing played a huge part in Frank’s success, and there will probably be factors in your success, too, that are out of your control. So don’t sweat those. Manage what you can, and just adjust your strategies around what you can’t.

Success is never a straight line.

This article, “Some Elements Will Always Be out of Your Control,” is Lesson 3 in the Lessons from Frank Schilling series.

In 2000 Schilling happened to read an article in a small town newspaper that would end up changing his life dramatically. “I was visiting my parents who had moved several hundred miles away and read in the local paper about a guy who had sold a dozen domain names for more than $130,000! I was immediately intrigued and started searching the Internet for information about domains.”

That’s why I like to read so much, particularly things like Forbes and Inc. that give numerous examples every month of how people are really making money — not the stuff you get online from “gurus” selling their e-books. Nowhere could I be exposed to so many different ideas. (I was also a huge Business 2.0 fan, too. May it rest in peace.)

If all you do is read stuff online, you’re likely to get stuck competing in the same areas that so many others are in. Look offline, though, and it’s easier to find very active niches that your online competitors haven’t found yet.

You also need to be aware of what’s around you every day. I’m terrible at that. I see examples all the time of people making fortunes off of opportunities that were right in front of me but that I failed to see. That’s the area where I’m most trying to get better.

Seize every opportunity to talk to people, too. Ask them lots of questions to learn about what it is they do. Be sure to ask them out of genuine interest, though. People can tell when you have an agenda.

That’s the biggest difference between me and my business partner, Greg. We can be at the same event and he’ll come out with details on what 25 different people are doing. Me? I can probably tell you which items on the buffet were the best. That’s why opportunity seems to find him all along the way. It’s not that he’s just lucky; it’s that he’s actively searching.

So spend time every week getting some “outside air” and watch how opportunities seem to materialize out of thin air. As with Frank, it only takes one to get you started.

This article, “Expose Yourself,” is Lesson 2 in the Lessons from Frank Schilling series.

The first was his relationship with Garry Chernoff, who ultimately became his mentor. Reading about that relationship reminded me of two lessons I had learned in my own life.

Number one was that you can never tell who will turn into a life-changer for you. I’ve talked to a lot of people who I never talked to again, but I’ve also talked to a very small handful who changed my life forever. You can never tell the difference going in.

Number two is to focus just as much on what you can give to the relationship as what you can get from it. This is a hard one for me, and I bet it’s the same way for most people. I’ve found that when the relationship is all about me, though, that it’s not actually a relationship at all and, not surprisingly, it never lasts. Although Garry became Frank’s mentor, Garry sounds like he benefited just as much: “Frank…gave me the competitive boost that kept me going. I probably would have quit and settled into complacency years ago had I not developed a friendship with him.”

The second relationship that stood out to me was the one with his wife, Michele — probably because my own wife has played such a key role in my success over the years. Because we’re so different, she’s a great sounding board for me. Instead of just telling me what I want to hear, or what I’m telling myself, she comes at things from a completely different angle. She still doesn’t really understand what I do, but that ends up being good because she asks questions that I would never think to ask.

Like with Michele being “thoroughly alarmed as Frank sank all of their savings in domains,” relationships like these provide checks and balances that are absolutely essential. Frank ended up being right in that case, but if they’re anything like us I guarantee you that Michele’s concerns have been beneficial all along the way. I help my wife be more willing to take risks, and she helps me remember that I need to look before I leap.

I’m inherently both an introvert and very self-reliant, so cultivating relationships is something I have to consciously force myself to do. I do it, though, because I know the rewards are worth it. I’m still not very good at it, but I’m trying to get better at it every day.

This article, “The Importance of Relationships,” is Lesson 1 in the Lessons from Frank Schilling series.

What most people didn’t know until now, though, was that Frank didn’t start in this business until 2002 — long after many people felt like the big gains to be made in this market were over.

Domain Name Journal has a great article this month entitled “Nice Guy Finishes First: How Frank Schilling Won the Domain Race After Starting at the Back of the Pack.” It’s obviously a must-read for any level of domainer, but one statement from Frank made me realize that anyone looking to quit their day job also had a ton they could learn from Frank:

The most important dollar I ever made — the one that made me shout for joy and feel rich — was the dollar it took to allow me to work from home and to stop going to an office. Everything since, everything, has been anticlimactic for me.

If your main goal in life is to quit your day job, I can second Frank’s comments: it’s everything you ever thought it would be, and more. You won’t reach your goal only to find that it ultimately was unrewarding. It isn’t. It’s one of the most rewarding things in the world — particularly if you have a family. The freedom that comes from not ever having to work for anyone else again is one of the greatest blessings I have ever experienced.

Domain Name Journal tells the story of Frank’s success in great detail, and in only one pass through it I’ve already identified 10 great lessons for success in his story that I’ve also experienced in my own life. Each day over the next two weeks (or more) I’ll be highlighting one of those lessons and discussing it in more detail.

I wrote awhile back about leveraging the stats of others who are already successful, but leveraging the experiences of others is equally as valuable — and I can’t think of anyone any more relevant to your situation than Frank.